Torturous Game Show
by Burning 'Til There's Dark Blue
Summary: In the tradition of ShadowCatcher crackfics, I bring you my very own game show, where I torture the characters of Avatar: The Last Airbender. Now most people would consider this illegal. My friends and I consider it hilarious. For Sebastian and Gabby.
1. Torturing Aang!

**The Very Twisted Avatar Game Show**

**Torturing Aang**

**Me: **You know what? I'm tired of these disclaimers. Someone else do this for me. Lemme think…Sebastian!

**Sebastian: **Wha…??? But how…never mind. Sarah…

**Me: **It's Laila

**Sebastian: **_Laila _doesn't own this show. It belongs to some people whose names I can't pronounce.

**Me: **Thank you. SECURITY!!! Anyways, onto the show…whoa, I better get there, it's almost starting!

●

_(Camera zooms in on a stage, which has one lone chair and two microphones on it. I come out, dressed in a very nice sparkly dress.)_

**Me: **Welcome to my very twisted game show! Today we're going to force, err, I mean allow the Avatar cast to compete in various challenges. Then we will ask them random questions! Now, do you, the audience, have any requests on challenges and/or questions?

_(Random guy raises hand)_

**Me: **Yes, you, way in the back.

**Random Guy: **Will you marry me?

**Me, startled:** Wha…NO! Security!

_(Security, who, by the way, is a band of angry gorillas, drags the guy away)_

**Me: **Anyways, back to the show! First up we have…Aang! Come up here!

_(Security drags Aang onstage)_

**Me: **Aang, please take a seat.

**Aang: **I never agreed to this.

**Me: **Yes you did.

**Aang: **When!?

**Me: **Just now.

**Aang: **How???

_(I pull out tape recorder)_

**Aang, on tape recorder: **I…agree…to this.

**Me: **As you can see, you agreed. Anyway, the first challenge for you is submitted by one of my security officers. _(Aang glances at the gorillas) _He says, "Make him dress up like a sheep and walk around town." Aang, your sheep costume should arrive any second now. _(Sheep costume falls from sky) _You have 30 minutes to complete this challenge. If you can't, my security officers will dump a jar filled with rotten eggs onto your head.

**Aang: **What?!?!

**Me: **Starting now.

_(Aang hurriedly puts on sheep costume and runs out the door)_

**Me: **We'll meet back with you in a minute. For now, here's a message from our sponsor!

**Sebastian, who comes out of nowhere: **What sponsor?

**Me: **You.

**Sebastian: **Okay, lemme think… this show is brought to you by _(Digs in pocket) _half my sandwich from lunch. Sandwiches. They taste good. Eat them.

**Me: **That's enough. Welcome back to our show! We are now on the streets, following Aang, who is dressed up as a sheep.

**Sebastian: **Can I help you host?

**Me: **Sure! Your job is to keep hitting Aang on the head.

(Sebastian walks up behind Aang and hits him on the head. Aang spins around several times, but sees only a short kid. Sebastian runs back to the camera)

**Sebastian: **What do I do now?

**Me: **Tackle him.

(Sebastian runs up behind Aang and tackles him. Aang falls into dog poop, but luckily his costume prevents him from getting dirty.)

**Aang: **WHAT THE HECK! GET OFF ME!

**Me: **Congratulations, you have now completed the challenge! The next person on my list is…Princess Azula!

**Sebastian: **Tell them to give you ideas on how to torture her.

**Me: **Do what the short kid says or my security team of angry gorillas will come to your house…maybe. Depends on whether they're hungry or not. Free cookies to all of you who give me and Sebastian ideas!


	2. Torturing Azula!

**Me: **Welcome back to another episode of my very twisted game show! Since Sebastian is so much better at disclaimers…SEBASTIAN!

**Sebastian: **I was sleeping! Anyway, _Laila _doesn't own Avatar. Can I go back to bed?

**Me: **No. I had to wake you up early for the test, remember?

**Sebastian: **What test?

**Me: **The one where we throw tomatoes at you to see how many you catch. Anyway, I have to go host my show, and Sebastian will be here shortly! He has to sleep because he doesn't like waking up at 2:30 A.M.

●

_(Camera zooms in on stage. There is the same chair from yesterday, and now there is a table filled with random, assorted, disgusting stuff. The microphones have been removed, and apparently have been replaced with headsets. Sebastian and me walk onstage, me wearing jeans and a shirt, Sebastian wearing a neon pink tuxedo.)_

**Me: **I'm back! Anyway, our next victim…err…I mean contestant is Azula.

**Sebastian: **And now, I have a tuxedo!

**Me: **The tux looks ridiculous, because it's pink!

**Sebastian: **No it doesn't!

**Me: **Just get rid of it.

_(Sebastian marches off stage angrily.)_

**Me: **Anyway, a person by the name of Sco23 gave me and Sebastian the idea for the next challenge! Sebastian, would you care to read it?

_(Sebastian runs onstage, now wearing a blue bathing suit. Everyone laughs and stares)_

**Me: **Who are you and what have you done with my friend's brain?

**Sebastian: **Hey, I'm wearing a suit!

**Me: **Just read the card.

**Sebastian: **Okay. Ahem. "Have Azula tickle tortured by Sokka, Zuko, and the Avatar until she confesses to where she hid Suki and make her apologize to all the bad things she has done to Zuko and his friends." Sound good to you, Laila

**Me: **If it weren't, you wouldn't have read it. Anyway, bring on the psychopath!

(_The gorillas, which have been mutated into half-crocodile, half-gorillas, drag Azula, who is in a straightjacket, onstage)_

**Azula: **Let me go! Do you know who I am?

**Me: **Yes. That's why we're doing this! Sebastian, bring on the other peoples!

**Sebastian: **Will Sokka, Zuko, and Aang come up here?

_(Sokka, Zuko, and Aang run onstage, Aang looking around for the trapdoor the sheep costume fell out of)_

**Me: **Now, your job is to…

_(Sebastian comes out of nowhere, dancing crazily and singing. I hide my face in embarrassment)_

**Me: **Sebastian…

**Sebastian, singing: **SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! SPONGEBOB SQUAREPAAAAAAAAAAAANTS!

**Me: **All right, who gave him coffee?!

_(One of my security guards raises his hand)_

**Me: **Why?

**Security Guard: **He said he was tired.

**Me: **Whatever. Anyway, Sokka and friends, your job is to tickle Azula while I ask her random questions. Security, please tape the crazy person to that chair.

_(Security heads for Sebastian)_

**Me: **Not him! Azula!

_(Security goes to Azula and drags her to the chair. Sebastian hands them duct tape, and they tape her onto the chair.)_

**Me: **Are you ready?

_(Sokka, Zuko, and Aang run up to Azula.)_

**Me: **Now Azula, I am going to ask you questions, and every question you refuse to answer or lie about, Sebastian will throw whatever he is currently holding at you. Sebastian, your table is over there. You will grab random objects, while wearing gloves, and you will throw whatever you're holding at her, but only if I tell you. In addition, to make sure that Azula doesn't lie, Toph will be standing over here. Just for backup, we've hooked her to a lie detector.

_(Toph walks onstage. There is an eruption of applause that nobody else received.)_

**Me: **Okay. Azula, is it true that you dye your hair because it is actually purple?

**Azula: **No!

**Toph: **Lies!

_(Sebastian picks up a moldy sandwich and throws it at Azula. Sokka, Zuko, and Aang tickle her for about 30 seconds, which seems more like 30 years to her, because apparently, she is extremely ticklish)_

**Me: **We'll be back after a message from some guy we found on the street.

**Cabbage Merchant: **My Cabbages! Stay away!

●

**Me: **Okay. We're back with Sebastian, Aang, Toph, Sokka, Zuko, and Azula.

**Azula, who is covered in some random gross items: **Why'd you say my name last?

**Me: **I hate you, that's why. Anyway, the next question is…

_(Drum roll)_

**Sokka: **WHERE IS SUKI?!?!?

**Azula: **I'm not telling you.

_(Sebastian throws an egg at the back of Azula's head)_

**Azula: **Okay! I built a portal, she's in Boston!

_(Sokka jumps offstage and literally hits the ground running, straight for the door. Hidden cameras show that he is on a taxi, headed for Orlando-Sanford International Airport.)_

**Me: **Is she really in Boston?

**Azula: **No. And he'll realize that and come running back to kill me. She's in NYC.

**Me: **Anyway, I have one more thing.

**Azula: **I thought you said that was the last question.

**Me: **I lied. You must now apologize to everyone on **_INTERNATIONAL TELEVISION_**! Oh, by the way, you owe me $25.

**Azula: **No!

**Me: **Sebastian and other people, you know the drill.

_(Zuko and Aang begin tickling Azula mercilessly. Sebastian begins throwing everything in sight, which includes: elephant poop, our Science Teacher's toenails, gum we found on the bottom of a desk, a shoe from the bottom of a lake, dirty underwear (Sokka's), raw chicken, the table itself, Sebastian's microphone, Sebastian's shoes, MY shoes, dirty socks (Sebastian's), MY socks, another chair, and a broom. Sebastian then proceeds to knock down the curtains. They fall on top of me.)_

**Me: **We'll be back soon with another episode. As I have said before, give us ideas. The next victim is…Katara! Now can somebody get this curtain off of me?


	3. Torturing Katara!

**Me: **Hola! Welcome back to My Game Show and Happy Valentine's Day! Sebastian, disclaimer!

**Sebastian: **Neither of us own Avatar. And I still can't pronounce the names of the people it belongs to.

**Me: **And I got free candy!

●

_(Camera zooms in on the stage, decorated pink and red for Valentine's Day. I come out wearing a pink dress, and Sebastian follows, wearing the pink tuxedo from yesterday. The microphones have been returned. The curtain is in a pile on the side, because nobody has put it up after yesterday's incident. There is a trashcan filled with the junk from yesterday. We have gotten our shoes back, yet the crocodile-gorillas are holding a straightjacket, rope, duct tape, and a radio.)_

**Me: **Hola and welcome back to me and Sebastian's űber-awesome show! And yes, űber is a word. It means super.

**Sebastian: **And an anonymous person called John Gomez gave us the idea for this next method of torture!

**Me: **I told you not to say that out loud! Anyway, he says this: Have Katara Admit she likes Aang while wearing a funny animal suit. So Sebastian, what animal suit should we make her wear?

**Sebastian: **Gorilla.

**Me: **Did you forget who our security guards are?

**Sebastian: **Oh, right. What about a chicken suit?

**Me: **You got it. Bring on Katara and the chicken suit!

_( The gorilla-crocodiles drag Katara onstage. A chicken suit falls from the ceiling.)_

**Sebastian: **Okay. Today, as part of Valentine's Day, we're going to make Katara admit that she likes Aang. Then I will sing an awesome song to conclude it.

**Me: **That's my line! Well, everything but the singing.

**Sebastian: **Anyway, where's Aang? He needs to be up here.

_(The gorilla-crocodiles drag Aang onstage.)_

**Sebastian: **Katara, put on the chicken suit.

**Katara: **I never agreed to this. You can't make me.

**Me: **My security guards would like to argue otherwise. Anyway, here's a message from our sponsor!

**Sebastian: **What sponsor?

**Me: **I really didn't think of that.

●

**Me: **Welcome back to My Game Show! We are here with Katara, who is in a chicken suit, and Aang, who is not in a chicken suit.

**Sebastian: **Katara's going to admit she is madly in love with Aang, or else I get to dump everything in that trash can on her head!

**Me: **Katara, you have 30 seconds to admit that you are madly in love with Aang, starting now.

**Katara: **WHAT?!

**Me: **20 seconds

**Katara: **You can't make me do this!

**Me: **10 seconds.

**Katara: **Fine. I like Aang. Happy now?

_(Sebastian walks up behind Katara, carrying the trashcan, and dumps it on her head. I stare at him in surprise.)_

**Sebastian: **I'm going to sing my song now! _(Way off-key)_ I'm holding on your rope, Got me ten feet off the ground. And I'm hearing what you say, but I just can't make a sound. You tell me that you need me, then you go and cut me down. But wait... You tell me that you're sorry. Didn't think I'd turn around and say.. That it's too late to apologize, it's too late. I said it's too late to apologize _(Security drags Sebastian away, but he continues to sing.)_

**Me: **Okay…that was weird. Review and give us ideas! The next victim is Sokka!


	4. Torturing Sokka!

**Me: **Hey people! I would have made another episode earlier if I could. But I got a bad case of the flu, so I couldn't.

**Sebastian: **We don't own Avatar.

●

_(Camera zooms in onstage. There is a 100" plasma screen television onstage. Sebastian comes out, wearing a normal suit. I come out wearing normal clothes.)_

**Sebastian: **I never got to finish my song from Valentine's day!

**Me: **Who cares. Anyway, welcome to My Very Twisted Game Show! Unfortunately, my security guards forgot to get everything for the show, so I'm going to leave it with Sebastian and go to…

_(Drumroll)_

**Me:**…Wal-Mart! And what was with the Drumroll? Goodbye!

_(I run offstage)_

**Sebastian: **So…anyway, the person we're torturing today is Sokka. Laila is out getting the supplies needed, so we get to have a party!

_(Cheers)_

**Sebastian: **Let's get it started!

_(More cheers. Soulja Boy begins playing, everyone starts to dance.)_

_Meanwhile, at Wal-Mart_

_(I am at the deli, buying loads of meat.)_

_Back at the Studio_

(A fight has broken out. People have raided the trash cans and are throwing everything in them at other people. Zuko is singing, "I'm a Little Teapot". Everyone else is fighting. Sebastian is hiding behind a desk.)

_Meanwhile, at Wal-Mart_

_(I am trying to decide on a chair.)_

_Back at the Studio_

_(A barrel full of pickles has been found, and now the gherkins are flying everywhere. Several hyenas have escaped from the zoo, and are tap-dancing onstage. Sebastian is trying to call the FBI.)_

_Meanwhile, at Wal-Mart_

_(I am in the "Duct Tape and Rope" aisle, buying large quantities of duct tape and rope.)_

_Back at the Studio_

_(The audience has hooked the TV to the computer, and is watching YouTube. Sebastian is now dressed as a drill sergeant, and is trying to control everyone.)_

_Meanwhile, at Home Depot_

_(I am building a pathetic excuse for a closet.)_

_Back at the Studio_

_(Sebastian is now standing outside the studio. I walk up with my pathetic excuse for a closet, a chair, duct tape and rope, a cooler filled with fresh meat, and a minifridge.)_

**Sebastian: **Laila, I doubt you want to go in there.

**Me: **It can't be that bad. _(Opens door. Everyone stops.)_

**Me: **O.O

**Sebastian: **Laila?

**Me: **O.O

**Sebastian: **Are you okay?

**Me: **O.O

**Sebastian: **It's not really that bad.

**Me: **O.O

**Sebastian: **I tried to stop them!

**Me: **O.O

**Sebastian: **They're crazy.

**Me: **O.O

**Sebastian: **Laila?

**Me: **O.O

**Sebastian: **I'm sorry!

**Me: **OH MY GOSH! _(Faints. Paramedics come and take me away.)_

**Sebastian: **Okay…I will now attempt to take over Laila's job in the destroyed studio.

_(Puts Minifridge onstage and dumps cooler in it. The security puts the closet up and stands around it with duct tape and rope. Sebastian puts the folding chair in the closet, then turns it to face television.)_

**Sebastian: **Okay. Sokka, come on up.

_(Sokka walks up, but when he sees the people, gets as wide-eyed as I did.)_

**Sebastian: **Laila has forbidden me from telling you what we're doing. Just go into that closet and sit down.

_(Sokka walks towards the closet, opens it, and sits on the chair. Security instantly slams it shut and duct tapes the door closed. Just for safety, they tie it with rope._

**Sebastian: **For this, we received a video taken at a party of Suki and Yue getting very drunk and admitting they hate Sokka. We received this video from sco23. Play the tape!

_(Shows video of Suki and Yue getting drunk and admitting Sokka wasn't good enough. They also kiss several guys. The video ends and Sokka is screaming, because due to the stupidity of the closet, there were large holes that he views everything through.)_

**Sebastian: **So, who do you hate right now, Sokka?

**Sokka: **I HATE YOU!

**Sebastian: **Anyone else.

**Sokka: **I hate you all.

_(Sebastian shrugs, walks over to minifridge, shows the contents to Sokka, then begins cooking and eating the meat. Sokka screams again.)_

**Sebastian: **You know, technically the people in that video aren't allowed to drink. Anyway, Toph is next!


	5. Torturing Toph!

Me: We're back

**Me: **Wow, it's dusty in here. Stupid zombies kept me from doing my game show. I sure showed them. Who knew they couldn't be in sunlight? Oh, you're here. Hi. Yeah…um…there was a…zombie invasion…around the studio…and…um…it kinda kept us from doing the show…because we had to…evacuate…to…Siberia! So…there wasn't anybody besides zombies in Florida…which caused us all severe problems…including gas that cost 4.07. But the zombies were apparently allergic to…sunlight, and after a few months, they…disintegrated…since it's summer.

**Sebastian: **There weren't any zombies! You were just really lazy, then you got grounded!

**Me: **Ah, yes. What a wonderful birthday that was.

**Sebastian: **Anyway, we still don't own the show. Because we're only 8th graders. And 8th graders can't really own anything. Yet. And technically, we won't be 8th graders for 3 more months.

**Me: **So do you want to announce the special guest for today's show?

**Sebastian: **I don't know who that is.

**Me: **I'll tell you when she comes. Her hippo should arrive any moment.

**Sebastian: **Yeah…hippo…wait, what?!

 

Camera zooms in on really dusty stage. Only 16 people are sitting in the audience, which I should probably mention seats 500. I come out wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and Sebastian comes out dressed as the Cat in the Hat (Seussical, inside joke, you wouldn't understand). All the furniture from the last episode is still there, covered in dust. The Alligator-gorillas are still guarding the doors.

**Me: **coughs Hi, and welcome back to my now somewhat obsolete game show!

**Sebastian: **Laila got lazy during school and got grounded the day before her birthday, and she just got ungrounded. We apologize for the inconvenience.

**Me: **I'm sorry! It wasn't my fault I got grounded! It was my math teacher and my mom! They're plotting against me, I tell you! suddenly peppy But on the bright side I got a 99 percent average in Spanish!

**Sebastian: **Right…so who was that special guest you were talking about backstage.

There is a sudden rumbling. Everybody panics and turns towards the large doors at the back of the studio.

**Me: **I give you…Gabby!

Gabby rides in on an elephant, cheering loudly. She is followed by the rest of my friends, which includes Sara, Sabrina, Shan, Cassie, Christina, Steph, Mike, MonkeyBoy (inside joke) Vali, Jessica, Jessica#2, Kaitlin, Pamela, Kelly, Kelly#2, Josh, Raeyven, Patrick, Michael, the entire Seussical cast and crew, about 60 other people who I don't know, a llama, 24 orangutans, and Fred the Alien Penguin

**Me: **And everyone else…riding elephants…in my studio…

Most of the people sit down. The people and alien penguins whose names I have actually mentioned all jump up on stage.

**Sebastian: **Wow… how'd you get so many people to come?

**Gabby: **It's the power of the Internet…and blackmail.

**Sebastian: **Right…anyway, our next…contestant…is Toph!

**Gabby: **Why don't you ever say victim? It's much more accurate.

**Sebastian: **Laila told me not to.

**Gabby: **She's an alien! Are you really going to listen to somebody from the Andromeda Galaxy?

**Me: **The FBI has not yet determined the fact that I am an alien, so therefore I am still allowed to live here. Though I am starting to think the Yakuza is going to kidnap me.

Sara starts laughing very hard

**Gabby: **What is wrong with her?

**Me: **It is a complex inside joke that only Sara and me understand.

**Gabby: **How many inside jokes do you two have?

**Me: **About eight or nine. Let me think, there's the desert Island one, the Yakuza, the cats, the water, Texas, the phone lectures, the Nerf guns, the wings, the list of inside jokes itself, the choking, something about dead frogs, and repetition.

**Gabby: **That's twelve!

**Sebastian: **Can we just get back to the show?

**Me: **Right. Toph, get out here!

**Toph: **Why are you doing this?

**Me: **I'm bored! Anyway, me and the rest of my very large group of peoples who are my friends have decided to spray paint you. Pink.

Everyone pulls out pink spray paint cans. I pull out a can of pink hair dye/spray/whatever it is. We all start spraying Toph frantically

**Toph: **GYAAH! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?

**Me: **BECAUSE I, AS A CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES AND A MEMBER OF THE EL SALVADOR FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS OFESI, AND THE OWNER OF THIS SHOW, I AM ALLOWED TO DO WHATEVER I WANT! DO YOU HAVE ANY FURTHER QUESTIONS AT THIS MOMENT?

Meanwhile, backstage

**Guy with white coat and needle: **You think we should go now?

**Guy with white coat and giant net: **Not yet, if she continues to act insane we will.

Back onstage

**ME: **AND ANOTHER REASON I AM ALLOWED TO DO WHATEVER I WANT IS THE FACT THAT I AM A GENIUS AND HAVE A GENIUS I.Q. THEREFORE, I AM IN TOTAL FULL CONTROL OF MY ACTIONS. AND AS A PSYCHOLOGIST…

Backstage

**Guy with white coat and giant net: **Now we can go get her.

The guys in white coats walk onstage. The one with the net throws it over my head. I continue to lecture Toph. The guy with the needle is forced to resort to chloroform. I shout for a few seconds, then close my eyes and start snoring. The guys walk away.

**Sebastian: **Um…okay. That was extremely random. Anyway, the next part of the show is to force Toph to walk around town spray painted pink and wearing a fluffy pink dress. Anyway, is there even such a thing as the OFESI? Looks towards Gabby, who quietly says no. There isn't? Okay then. Toph, put on the dress. Gabby, take over. I have to call the hospital and make them give Laila back. Pulls out cell phone and walks away

Hello, yeah, um, the guys from your hospital just took my friend there because she had a bit too much caffeine, and I kinda need you to give her back…

**Gabby: **This is getting really weird. I should probably just end the show right now. Next week's victim is Mai, who, according to this, is the freaky gothic knife girl. Now there's a weird description. Send us ideas and fanmail. We may or may not use it. Onto the conga line!

Everybody and everything in the studio forms a really long conga line, and they all go outside. Sebastian comes back out right as the door closes

**Sebastian: **Well, that was fun. Hey, where is everybody. Guys?

Lights turn off.

**Sebastian: **Guys? Hello? Guys?


	6. Torturing Mai!

**Me: **We're back, yet again! I still can't believe you haven't all rioted against me for abandoning this for…how long was it?

**Sebastian: **Five months.

**Me: **Right. Anyway, Gabby's gonna return today, because she would probably attack me if I didn't let her come back. So today, our contestant…

**Gabby, coming in: **Victim

**Me: **…victim is Mai, the crazy gothic knife girl. Sebastian, it's time for the disclaimer!

**Sebastian: **I checked eBay this morning, and they aren't selling the rights to Avatar. Hence the fact that we don't own it.

**Me: **_Hence? _Why did you say _hence?!_

--

_Camera zooms in on the stage, which is devoid of dust, thanks to the army of alie…er…um…janitors that spent three hours vapori…CLEANING it. I come out wearing my normal outfit, Gabby comes out wearing her normal outfit (jeans and black t-shirt (We banned pink.)) and Sebastian comes out wearing a llama costume._

**Me: **Why, Sebastian?

**Sebastian: **Gabby bet me 20 that I couldn't make it through the entire show wearing this without somebody throwing something at me. I bet her 20 that if somebody did, it would be her. If I lose either, I owe her 20.

**Me: **Think fast. _I take off my microphone and throw it at Sebastian. The feedback is horrible. Gabby laughs. Sebastian angrily takes out his wallet._

**Sebastian: **Laila, you lost me 40.

**Me: **Yes I did. Now take off that stupid costume and put on normal clothes. That means no pink tuxes.

Sebastian walks off, mumbling under his breath. As he exits, there is a loud crash, and he yells angrily.

**Me: **Gabby, no making him wear retarded stuff, we all know he'll look like a moron whatever he wears. Partly because I will throw a water balloon at him no matter what. Paco, go get me water balloons.

**Gabby: **Who is Paco?

**Me: **My secretary/bodyguard _(I point to a very tall, muscular dude wearing sunglasses.)_

**Paco: **Whatever you say.

**Gabby: **_looks confuzzled_

**Paco: **She pays good.

_Paco walks away, humming to himself. Gabby looks at me as if I'm insane._

**Gabby: **You hired some Chilean…

**Me: **Italian.

**Gabby: **…Italian dude to do whatever you ask?

**Me: **Would you rather I had hired an alligator-gorilla?

**Gabby: **You already hired like five hundred alligator-gorillas!

**Me: **That is incorrect. I only hired fifty.

Sebastian comes out as we argue on and on. He takes one look and goes backstage. A few minutes later he comes back out, dragging Mai.

**Sebastian: **While these two argue, I'd like to introduce the next person on our show. Her name is Mai, and according to Laila, she is the crazy gothic knife girl. No offense, crazy gothic knife girl.

**Mai: **You're lucky I was disarmed.

**Sebastian: **Right, that's because we didn't want you to fight back. Anyway, we decided the best form of punishment…

**Mai: **Punishment? For what? I haven't done anything! That was all Azula! Make her be tortured, not ME!

_Gabby and I stop arguing to watch Mai throw a conniption fit._

**Mai: **I've just been doing what Azula tells me! She'll kill me if I don't do what she asks! Do you know how it feels like to be killed by lightning? Probably not! Neither do I. And I don't want to find out!

**Sebastian: **I don't own this show! I don't know who does! It's the producer's fault, not mine! Hey, where'd those knives come from? GYAAAAAAAH!

Sebastian runs away as Mai chases him. Suddenly a giant cage falls out of the ceiling and traps Mai.

**Me: **_Hides remote for cage _Didn't anyone ever tell you not to run with knives? You could trip and kill yourself by falling on the knives! Now put them down before you hurt yourself.

**Mai: **_reluctantly puts down knives, knowing I'll fill the cage with sheep if I have to_

**Gabby: **Is that all the knives?

**Mai: **No.

**Gabby: **Put everything currently within ten feet of you that can be used as a weapon outside the cage.

Mai grumbles and puts about 37 different weapons outside of the cage. Paco comes in, hands me the water balloons, then carries all the weapons away. He puts them in a trash can, then sits at the back of the stage.

**Gabby: **Now put on the outfit that's going to fall out of the ceiling at any second on.

A pink, sparkly bunch of cloth falls out of the ceiling and lands in Mai's cage. As she pulls it on over the outfit she is currently wearing, we see that it is a fairy princess outfit. Gabby is staring at me yet again as if I am crazy.

**Gabby: **Now put on the mask that will now fall from the ceiling.

A pink and white Mardi Gras mask falls from the ceiling. Mail reluctantly puts it on.

**Me: **Now turn to the big plasma screen TV behind you. Everyone else is advised to evacuate immediately. Gabby, Sebastian, that includes you two.

There is a mad rush to get outside. I press the button on a remote, which turns on the TV, and then sprint out myself. Mai starts shouting, then Barney comes on.

Meanwhile, outside the studio.

**Me: **Due to the fact that Barney is known to cause brain damage to people over 5, I had to evacuate everyone. Who wants to go to McDonalds? My treat.

Everybody raises their hands, and we all walk into McDonalds, which is across the street. I stop at the door and run back outside.

**Me: **Next week we're torturing Fire Lord Ozai, if we can find him. He has a bomb shelter somewhere in Hawaii, and I don't want to have to call the Navy to find anyone again. Anyway, I'll try to have an episode up every Wednesday. And we all enjoy fanmail and ideas. Adios!


	7. Torturing Everyone Else!

I dash out onto the stage. Sebastian and Gabby are nowhere to be seen. I am wearing a dark grey t-shirt, plaid grey, purple, and blue shorts, and pink flip-flops. My hair is multicolored, with streaks of blue and green. I stop in the middle of the stage, panting. Then I look up, smiling.

**Me: **Welcome one and all to My Game Show! If this is your first time watching, er, reading, er, well, you get the point, anyway, if this is your first time here, we are torturing Ozai today! My two cohosts, Sebastian and Gabby are going to help me out a lot today. Why is that? Because I am going on a 6-week trip to the Lone Star state, which means I have to do five episodes. Why is that? Because it's either I do five in one day or Gabby does the next five over a span of 5 weeks. And she's not as random. Though her YouTube videos are. Anyway, we still don't own the show. And yes, I am going to do this until Sebastian and Gabby come out. According to my watch, that won't be for 15 more minutes. Anyway, our next victim is Fire Lord Ozai, the psychopath who burns everything in sight. Am I talking too much? I think I'm talking too much. TOO MUCH COFFEE! Yes, I had coffee, and now I'm talking too much. Though it's not like I don't talk this much already.

Sebastian and Gabby run on stage, panting. Both are still dressed in normal clothes instead of the ones they normally wear for the show.

**Gabby: **Laila, you started without us? I can't believe you'd do that! Well, actually, I can, but anyway, you started without us?

**Me: **Yes I did. You know why? Because I have to do five episodes today. FIVE! I usually do only one over a span of a month. THIS IS STRESSFUL!

**Gabby: **Instead of stressing yourself out by doing five really short episodes, why don't you just do one big episode?

**Me: **Gabby, you're a genius. Anyway, our first victim is Fire Lord Ozai! Bring out the so-called Fire Lord!

Paco comes out, pushing a giant aquarium filled with fish. Fire Lord Ozai is sitting in it, tied up, with a bunch of oxygen tanks and a scuba diving outfit on.

**Sebastian: **Why is he in a fish tank?

**Me: **Safety reasons.

**Gabby: **Can I break the glass?

**Me: **Whatever.

**Sebastian: **How long has he been in there? There's like twenty oxygen tanks in there. You haven't had him all week, have you? You have! Oh, wow. I can't believe you did that. Isn't that torture enough? Probably not for you. But still, how's he gonna do anything? How's he gonna eat and sleep and all that stuff?

**Me: **Sebastian, are you doubting me? You better not doubt me again, or you're gonna be the last one we torture.

**Sebastian: **I don't see how you can do all that without him burning everything!

**Me: **That's it.

I pull out my remote and press the giant red button. A metal cage falls out of the ceiling and traps Sebastian. Seconds later, a bunch of red dodgeballs fall onto his head.

**Me: **I am so tired of people doubting me! It's not like I'm some idiot who can't do anything right. If I can reprogram a computer, I think I can do this right. Because I am actually going to finish this, and I'm gonna finish the rest of my stories! And I am going to get straight A's in 8th grade, no matter what my family says. You know why? Because I'm not an idiot! And to all those people out there still doubting me, stop. I will find you. And I will send the Yakuza after you. I am perfectly capable of running this game show, thank you very much. And Sebastian, I didn't need you to come help co-host, I just needed some comic relief in this story. And to the rest of my school who FORCED ME INTO SILENCE FOR A WEEK, do you know what it's like to be yelled at by half the school? Do you know how stressful peer pressure is? I am not dumb enough to give into peer pressure, and I know Gabby's not either. So stop doubting me, stop trying to force me into something I hate, stop the stupidity, just get a brain already and leave me out of this mess!

I stand there, looking very angry. A dead silence fills the studio. Then somebody at the back begins clapping. Soon everyone else joins in. A few people begin to stand up. I walk over to Gabby and pull a piece of paper out of my pocket and hand it to her.

**Me: **Gabby, here's the list of the people who still need to be tortured. I quit. I'm going to San Antonio.

Silence fills the studio again. The only sound is that of my shoes hitting the floor as I march out. Everyone watches me as I leave. The door slams loudly, making a lot of people wince.

**Gabby: **Okay. That is why you never bug Laila. She will throw a fit. But her speech was pretty good. I didn't know she could get that pissed off, though. Anyway, what does this paper say about torturing Ozai?

Gabby scans the paper, trying to find something.

**Gabby: **Oh, well that's useful. Where am I going to find that much ice? It's not like I can fly to Antarctica and back. It's 20,000 miles away! Hey Paco, go get me a dozen bags of ice from the freezer backstage.

Paco bows, runs backstage, and comes back a few minutes later with a wagon filled with bags of ice.

**Gabby: **Thank you. Ozai, do you have any words about this?

**Ozai: **says something unidentifiable because of the water

**Gabby: **I didn't understand a word you said. Okay, now the paper says to dump all the ice into the tank. All right, then.

Gabby cuts open the bags and pours all the ice into the tank. Consulting the paper again, she takes out all the oxygen tanks, and pulls Ozai's helmet off. The rest of the diver's suit falls off, revealing white Happy Bunny underwear.

**Gabby: **Okay, that is wrong on so many levels.

**Ozai: **shivers and tries to melt the glass with firebending so he can strangle Gabby

**Gabby: **makes a very rude hand gesture towards Ozai

**Sebastian: **Have you forgotten about me?

**Gabby: **No, but you're the last victim, so we need to keep you in there so you can't escape.

Right as Gabby says this, Ozai jumps out of the tank and lunges at Gabby, who hits him on the head before he can reach her. Ozai faints somewhat dramatically.

**Gabby: **Someone take this loser away.

Paco comes up, grabs Ozai by the hair, and drags him away.

**Gabby: **Anyway, our next victim is Ty Lee. But before we do that, I have to check the list for a second.

Gabby scans the list.

**Gabby: **Why isn't Zuko on here? Oh, yeah. He moved to the Czech Republic and Laila doesn't have a passport. Anyway, now we're going to torture Ty Lee, the freaky pink girl who is really good at gymnastics and knocking people out. We're going to torture her by making her hang out across the street with a bunch of Goths. Paco, bring the weird pink girl out!

Paco comes out, dragging Ty Lee

**Ty Lee: **Let go of me! This isn't fair! What gives you the right to do this? Lemme go already! Gyaah! Stop hitting me on the head! Who are you people anyway?

**Gabby: **We are allowed to do this because it's our show. And as far as you're concerned, we are the Yakuza. Anyway, you are supposed to go to Hot Topic, dressed in pink, and start talking about gymnastics to the cashier with the blue Mohawk. And do not blame me at all for this. You can blame Laila. Who is probably in San Antonio by now. And for safety, we will have security guards standing by 200 yards away.

**Ty Lee: **200 yards away? That's not bad.

**Gabby: **Just go to Hot Topic.

Ty Lee walks outside, looks back and forth, then turns back around.

**Ty Lee: **Which one's Hot Topic?

Gabby sighs, walks offstage, followed by the cameraman, and grabs Ty Lee as she passes by. They walk across the street to Hot Topic. Ty Lee is then forcefully shoved into the store.

**Gabby: **That's Hot Topic.

Ty Lee walks up to the cashier and begins blathering on about the circus and gymnastics. Gabby casually walks to Starbucks, which is next to Hot Topic.

**Gabby: **I am going into here for safety reasons only. See, that's the good thing about Orlando. It's a city with over 3 million people in it, and there are more than 7 million people here and in the surrounding area. So you won't be able to find us. Plus there are about 1 million tourists at any given time. YOU WILL NEVER FIND US. Because Laila, Sebastian and I have really common names. Why do I say this? Because Laila's name really isn't Laila. It's actually Sarah. Which is much more common! Anyway, let's go check back on the weird pink girl.

Gabby gets up, knocks over the cameraman on her way out, and goes back to Hot Topic, where the cashier is looking more aggravated by the second. Ty Lee is continuing to blather on about the circus. Nobody else is in the store. They have all left because they are aggravated.

**Gabby: **Time's up. Paco, you can take the loser away now.

Paco comes up and drags Ty Lee away by her hair.

**Gabby: **Okay. Our next victim is Jet. And we got a great idea on how to torture him. However, for safety reasons I can't name anybody. Anyway, we should probably get back to the studio. Let's see how much has been destroyed in the ten minutes we've been gone!

Gabby goes into the studio, takes a look around, then goes in. Everyone else follows. Gabby climbs back onstage, not caring to use the stairs. Because stairs are for losers. Unless it's a 2 story house. But in that case you can use ladders. Anyway, back to the show.

**Gabby: **Bring out the third loser!

Paco drags out Jet, who isn't happy that he's number 3 today.

**Jet: **You know, I was having a very nice time in a French restaurant until your security guards came along and kidnapped me.

**Gabby: **Too bad. And how can you be having a nice time in a French restaurant? Their food consists of snails, bread, fish eggs, and moldy cheese.

All the color washes out of Jet's face. He begins to gag and cough. Gabby watches him, confused.

**Gabby: **You know, I was going to show him a bunch of pictures of the Fire Nation, but on second thought, maybe I should just make him eat French food. Hey Paco, can you get me some French food? Paco? Hey, where's Paco?

Cuts to a clip of Paco, on an airplane. Cuts back to Gabby looking around.

**Gabby: **Oh, great. We lost Paco.

Commercial break

Shows the following commercials: American Airlines, McDonalds, Starbucks, Disney World, and Bones.

End commercials

**Gabby: **All right, so we've lost Paco, Sebastian had to be placed in a cage so he wouldn't try to escape, Laila's on the other side of the country, and I don't feel like moving. Maybe there's something in the freezer.

Gabby walks backstage, then comes out a few minutes later pushing a giant barrel.

**Gabby: **I don't know why, but there was a giant barrel full of snails backstage. So we're going to make Jet eat them.

**Jet: **What?! NO!

**Gabby: **But you have to! It's part of the game show! And if you don't eat them the alligator-gorillas are going to throw them at you!

**Jet: **I am not eating snails!

**Gabby: **Your choice.

The alligator-gorillas begin picking up the snails and throwing them at Jet, who tries to dodge them, but ends up getting covered in snails and slime. He tries to run away, but slips on all the slime on the floor. Gabby just stands there laughing.

**Gabby: **Now that is funny.

Jet attempts to stand up, and after slipping several more times, manages to get backstage. There is a crash, a scream, and then a bunch of guinea pigs begin running onto the stage.

**Gabby: **Why are all these guinea pigs out here?

**Sebastian: **I think they were there to torture people with. GYAAH! They're trying to eat my shoes!

The guinea pigs are seriously trying to eat Sebastian's shoes. Sebastian tries to get them away, but they knock him down. Gabby continues to laugh.

**Gabby: **This is really funny! Now if only there were pie.

A piece of pie falls from the ceiling.

**Gabby: **AWESOME! So anyway, our next victim is the Cabbage Merchant. Bring out the Cabbage dude!

The alligator-gorillas drag the Cabbage Merchant out from backstage. One of them pushes his cart, which is obviously filled with Cabbage, except for the rare Czechoslovakian Cabbage-Eating Cabbage Beetles that have been placed at the bottom. (Czechoslovakian Cabbage-Eating Cabbage Beetles cannot be found anywhere anymore, because Czechoslovakia is no longer a country.) The alligator-gorillas tie the Cabbage Merchant to a chair as the Czechoslovakian Cabbage-Eating Cabbage Beetles begin to devour the cabbage.

**Cabbage Merchant: **My cabbages!

**Gabby: **You know, cabbage is a really weird word once you think about it.

Suddenly the ceiling lifts off of the studio. Zuko falls onto the stage. Everybody looks up to see me piloting a helicopter. I put the ceiling back on the building and fly off.

**Gabby: **Well, I was going to torture Sebastian next, but maybe I should torture them both at the same time.

**Zuko: **How did you even do this? I was on the other side of the planet!

**Gabby: **Never underestimate teleportation. Bring out the water balloons!

Everyone pulls out buckets of water balloons and begins to throw them at Zuko and Sebastian, who are soaked in seconds. The stage is a mess. Suddenly I run in, carrying a fire hose, and spray everyone. Everybody starts laughing as I go up on stage and get Sebastian out of the cage. Sara, Sabrina, Shan, Cassie, Christina, Steph, Mike, MonkeyBoy, Vali, Jessica, Jessica#2, Kaitlin, Pamela, Kelly, Kelly#2, Josh, Raeyven, Patrick, Michael, Fred the Alien Penguin, Gabby, Sebastian, everyone who has been tortured on the game show, and I all go to the front of the stage. We bow and everyone in the audience claps for us.

**Me: **And that is My Very Twisted Game Show! Thank you all for staying with me the past few months! Did you know this is actually the first thing I've ever finished? It's awesome, isn't it? So next up on our agenda is making a second season of this show, where we torture everybody who hasn't been tortured yet! It's going to be on FictionPress, the equally as good channel/site! I'm going to call it a channel because this is a game show! But first I have to stop blathering on about such stupid stuff. And we are finished!

The curtains are drawn and the lights on stage dim. Then all the lights come on and we all come down, and walk out. "Riot" by Three Days' Grace begins to play and everyone begins singing along. As everybody leaves, all the lights are turned off. "Riot" continues playing.


End file.
